How To Mess With a Mechanic
by MyN00bishEgo
Summary: Ed takes some advice from the colonial that comes in handy when Winry comes for a visit. Poor Winry. She never saw it coming. Ed/Win. Oneshot.


Heheh. just a little oneshot I've been working on. Garenteed (cant spell) to make a smile appear on ur face. This time it's EdxWin fluff. I don't really know why I did this, becuase I truthfully don't like this couple. I'm much more of a yaoi fan in FMA. But this works. And I though that this the only type of situation that could appear but only with this pairing. So wat the hay? I gave it a shot. so it turns out to be a cute oneshot. A little OOC for Ed. But all in all, it's pretty good.

pairing: EdxWin

rated: T for swearing

disclaimer: I only own the plot, not the characters or places and stuff like that.

_How To Mess With a Mechanic:_

"Great, just GREAT!!!!" Ed muttered so only Al could hear, "Why does Winry have to ask us to pick her up, when it's 97 fuckin' degrees!!!!"

It was true. Ed and Al, who was still a suit of armor walked though Central at a steady pace. Well, at least Al did. Ed was being slowed down by the heat. The city of Central was unsurprisingly quiet today. People who had a choice didn't hesitate to stay inside with cool, refreshing air conditioners by their side, while others like Roy Mustang continuously signed each individual paperwork as reached for the endless pile for another. And what's worse, was that the air conditioners in the military were broken. (A/N: poor Roy..heh..I'm evil…)

And Ed though_ he_ was unfortunate.

He felt sweat coming from every inch of his skin, and it wouldn't stop coming out. Even though he took off his usual red jacket and wore a black tan top, he could still feel the sun beating him. He wore the same tight leather pants with pockets and a silver watch secured with a chain was jumped around in his pocket while he walked. He also tied his hair up into a messy ponytail that dangled left and right with each step.

After a few more minutes under heat, Ed just couldn't take it anymore.

"ALLL!!!" he pleaded for his life, "Does your armor withstand heat?"

Al touched his chest with his hand but felt nothing. That's right, he couldn't feel anything. "Um…I don't know, Niisan, remember?"

It took a few seconds for Ed to realize, but he still did. He reached to touch his brother's arm. "Fine, then I'll just feel for myse-YYIOWCHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"

When his finger reached it, it felt a thousand times hotter, like a grill, sizzling his fingers.

"Remind me never to touch you again." He said, clutching his hand that stung every few seconds.

"Maybe you should've asked the colonial for a ride, then you wouldn't be like this."

Ed just grumbled and crossed his arms.

After awhile he changed the subject. "So where do you think Winry's gonna sleep for the next week?"

"She could borrow one in the military." He answered absentmindedly.

The two continued and chatted along the way.

-+-

On the other side of town, Winry was getting impatient.

"Ok, I admit that I got here early, but _this_ is ridiculous!!"

She turned her head up to view the clock. Surely enough, the Elrics were late ten minutes. She admitted her defeat and decided to take advantage of it.

"Alright, if they're not coming to me, then I'm not gonna let them find me." And with that, she started the lift her extremely heavy suitcase, which was full of mechanic tools, and ran off to the nearest mechanic shop she could find.

_Well at least I can have some fun while I hide_, she thought as she adjusted her white hat.

-+-

"Winry!!" Ed yelled "Hello?! Where are you!!"

They've arrived at the train station, but no sign of Winry. Al was at the west side and was panicking. "Oh no, what if she missed the train?"

Ed put his hand on his chin. "I don't think so. She's not that kind of a person…"

Then a light bulb turned on in Ed's head. "Hey Al!" he called, "I have a good idea. She'd respond to this even a million miles away." Al looked nervous after seeing his brother smirk even wider than Roy.

"No." he warned, "Don't you know what happened last time?"

Ed took the moment to replay on of his earlier memory of him lying in bed, having his flesh leg broken and scratches and bruises on his arm, and red marks shaped like wrenches everywhere on his face. But what's more ironic was that he didn't have a single hint of dirt on his automail. Winry is a strange…strange girl.

"No worries, Al! I'll be fine this time, promise!" he said. Al gulped, knowing it was too late.

_**3**_

Ed took a huge breath and filled both his lungs with air until it hurt.

_**2**_

Al covered his ears even though he didn't have any and ran for cover.

_**1**_

Ed clapped his hands together and created a megaphone from the floor.

"**HEY WINRY, AUTOMAIL SUUUUUUUUUUUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"**

His scream echoed twenty times and all passengers walking by looked at him as if he had two heads.

-+-

When the sound reached him, Roy looked up from his paperwork tiredly. Even Hawkeye noticed and stopped what she was doing.

"What was that, sir?" she asked curiously as she turned to the window.

Roy scratched his head, "This might seem odd, but I think that was Fullmetal's voice…"

-+-

Even Pinako, who was in Resembel, looked up from reading the newspaper. "Did I just hear-no it must've been my imagination…"

-+-

In Lior, Rose was busy talking to her friend,

"So what did you-hey did you hear that?"

"I think…"

"I can't put my finger on it, but it sounds sorta familiar…"

-+-

Somewhere in Germany, Heiderich was busy working on some new rockets he researched.

He couldn't help but feel a strange disturbance in his stomach. And it bothering him a lot, so he turned his head up towards the blue sky. "I feel like I've missed something…"

-+-

On a sunny day in the Konoha village, all the ninjas' were taking advantage of the day to train. Naruto's group was practicing throwing kunai's and dodging them at the same time.

Sakura pulled out three very sharp kunai's out of her bag and said "If I don't miss my target, don't say its my fault." She said with an evil laugh.

_Uh oh…_Naruto braced himself, since _he_ was the target she was talking about.

"Don't be scared Naruto, if it hits you, you won't die at least, but you will be embarrassed by a long shot." Well, at least Sasuke tried to encourage him, but it seemed to have put a negative effect.

And on cue, Sakura aimed her kunai at Naruto and lunged this forward with all her might.

Naruto didn't seem to even move, but just stood there, dumbfound. "You idiot!! Move before it really hits you!" Sasuke yelled.

Good, at the last second, Naruto jumped upward and the kunai's stabbed a tree instead of Naruto. Whew…and by just a centimeter.

"God, Naruto!!! What were you thinking?!!!" Sakura yelled furiously.

"I had one of my gut feelings again, and this time it felt weird!!!" he defended.

"Just how many times do you have this 'gut' feeling!!? Once a year maybe?!!!"

"It's not my fault!" he pouted.

"Well it WILL be if I killed you with my easy-to-dodge attack!!"

"I thought you said to not blame you if it hits me!!!"

"Yeah, I don't blame myself, I blame _you_!!!"

Ok, so the next part, Naruto and Sakura went into a fight by creating an anime cloud/smoke thingy with stars flying in all directions while Sasuke watched with a sweatdrop.

-+-

Hehheh…who knew Ed's shriek could travel through different dimensions too?

People were whispering furiously until Al defended "Sorry…my brother is using _his_ type of method because we're trying to find our friend." After that, some nodded and continued to walk, while others, who had sensitive ears stayed frozen.

Miles away, Winry suddenly twitched uncontrollably. A vein popped out of her head and she could feel herself tightening her fist. From habit, she picked up several wenches and threw them in all directions. Little did she know that she was standing inside a mechanic shop.

"ED!!!! YOU WILL DIE!!! I SWEAR IT!!!" Flames were literally coming from her eyes and she picked up some more wrentches."TAKE THIS!!!" she threw it at the sky, "AND THAT!! AND THAAAT!!!!! DON'T YOU _MESS _WITH ME!!!!!!!" she threw one sideways and it accidentally hit a villager. He fainted unsurprisingly.

**SMASH**

**BANG**

**CRUNCH**

**SNIP**

**BOOM**

The mechanic shop's petrified manager hid under his desk, kneeling down while covering his head and ears with his trembling hands.

Back at the train station, Ed smugly crossed his arms and closed his eyes to listen to the explosions.

"Hehheh…that should do it. I think it came from over there." He pointed to the couple of buildings behind Al.

As Al followed him, he thought, _And I thought he couldn't get any louder…_

Ed's breathing became heavier and he stopped to catch his breath. Al waited. "Um..you **do** realize that she's gonna tear up limb from limb until your whole body is made of automail...right?"

Ed just smiled, "I've been practicing dodging wrenches before she came."

Al was bewildered, "Since when?"

"I asked Roy to train me, since he has to dodge bullets from Riza everyday."

"Actually, Riza purposely misses."

"Who cares?"

"Uhh..you should. Winry's not gonna miss on purpose."

"Don't worry, I've got a good plan." He said calmly, and started heading towards the area where Winry was again.

-+-

"Where is HE?!!" she pulled a man's shirt and made him look straight into her fierce eyes. "TELL me where he **IS** or I'll pulverize you!!!!!"

Of course, he had no idea what she was talking about but kept his mouth shut, for he knew that it was the only way to survive in a situation like this.

Just when Winry was about to suffocate the innocent man, she heard Al yell, "Don't hurt him, Winry!!!"

She let go off the man and he landed with a thump and scurried away. Off strange curiosity, she turned to find a giant metal suit of armor running to her.

_Wait…_she thought, _if Al's here then Ed must also…_

She focused her eyes as hard as she could and a second later, she caught sight of a little yellow speck following behind Al, and he was…smiling?!!!

"EDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she screamed off the top of her lungs.

"Hey, Winry." He noticed and raised his automail hand in response. She was too angry to notice that Ed was wearing something different than usual.

Before he knew it, about billion wrenches were flung to his direction. But Ed managed to dodge them all and still be in one-piece. He ducked a few times, jumped into the air, did a summersault, balanced himself with one hand and the rest just hanging in the air. Three flips in the air and for a finale, he caught one and dropped it onto the ground in front of him. And what's more disbelieving was that he did it with his eyes closed!

"H-How did you know what to do when you can't even see??!" Al asked from behind him.

"Simple" he replied and slightly opened his eyes. "I use my ears. Believe it or not, it's actually easier, because you don't become frightened when you see with your eyes what use of weapon, or in this case, automail tool is being flung at you. Roy is a professional with fighting in Ishabal, right?"

_Man, he sounds like a pro himself…_

Winry's eyes didn't believe what she was seeing. Ed for once dodged her wrenches?! He never did!! And she never missed!!! This pissed her off even more.

"Fine!!" she yelled, getting the two's attention, "If I can't hit you from far away, I'll just use my fists." She threw the wrench away and began to run directly up to Ed.

Surely, she _got_ to be kidding. C'mon now, a girl, trying to beat up a boy with her bare hands? Even if the boy's shorter than her…(Ed: I AM NOT!!!!! Me: Sure you are...)

"Niisan…." Al said his voice sounded scared, "What are you gonna do? You can't hit a girl **OR **get beaten up by one!"

Ed smiled and whispered calmly, "Roy _also_ taught me how to deal with this." Seriously, Al should take Roy's advice more often.

But before Al could ask anything else, Winry was already in front of Ed. She tried to punch him in the face, but missed because he ducked and jumped behind her. She then tried using her legs, but she lost her balance and was about to fall when Ed appeared from behind and caught her, bridal style.

Her face turned red. "What are you doing!?"

"Would you rather fall onto the ground?" he offered.

"Just let me down!!" she whined. But what she got as a reply shocked her.

He giggled, "You know, you look kinda cute when you're angry."

Winry could feel every ounce of heat from the sun coming to her face. All her anger turned into embarrassment for some reason. Al could've sworn that she looked like a ripe tomato.

Satisfied, Ed gently let her down. And without saying another word, he gestured Al to follow him as he walked to the direction of the military dorms. The sun was setting and the sky turned orange with deep shades of pink and red. Winry, who was still flushed, found the energy in her legs to follow the blonde alchemist.

"Hey Ed," Al asked so that Winry couldn't hear, "Just what _else_ did you learn from Roy…?"

"Just some tips on how to get girls. Why?" he replied with a smirk.

-+-

fangirl scream hahahahaha!! I just HAD to write that part! Looks like Ed and Roy have something in common after all! Hope u all enjoyed it! Reviews make me happy. See ya! XD Oh and for the Naruto crossover, I just **had** to write that. I wanted to do Inuyasha, but then figured that some poeple might not know Inuyasha so I did Naruto instead. Everyone in America should know it by now. 

kawaii kawaii!!! XD poor Winry, yes I know. And Im sorry about that. But at least Ed has his way of apoligizing, right? So its equivalent exchange after all! 

_From MikoKikyo7_


End file.
